When I pulled up to the main stoplight in town, I had stopped the stretching and clipped back in to my pedals. All those cars that passed me were idling next to me, waiting for the light to change.

I manage to unclip my shoe from the pedal, but just as I start to put it down, it suddenly clicks back in just as my momentum stops.

I crash to the pavement, but manage to flip my bike up until I’m lying on my back–upside-down cycling at 0mph. “Sweet, I saved it,” I think.

The car door just above my face opens, and I hear a woman ask me if I’m all right, the water from my open bottles starts pouring onto me.

I’m being waterboarded by my own bike in the middle of the busiest intersections of one of the busiest tourist towns in the area.

But at least I’ll always have the memory of one-legged Superman.

I had heard that the stiff soles increase your power transfer by 30%. Since I was riding a lot slower on the old Salvation Army Schwinn bike than I wanted to, I figured that such a large gain in transfer would really transform my riding.

So I went to the bike shop, and grabbed a pair of Diadora Road Shoes with sweet carbon soles. They were silver and had a stiffness factor that was ridiculously high. Exactly what I needed.

But after my third ride with them, I couldn’t figure out why everyone raved over them. They made me slow, wobbly, and clumsy on the bike.

Then my friend told me that if I really wanted to take cycling seriously, I should also consider buying something called “clipless” pedals.

As I slowed down I quickly realized I’d need to clip out, but when I turned my heal I just couldn’t. My shoe would not come unclipped despite my efforts and rising panic, so in a pathetic slow motion display of failure I just tipped right over in the middle of the road.

I tried to untangle myself from my bike quickly to get out of the way of the car that was now stopped behind me, but my foot remained attached to the pedal.

The driver rolled down his window and called to me and my struggling mess of bike and asphalt, “You okay? You fell like, really… slow. Did you hit your head?”

I ripped open the Velcro on my shoe and slipped my foot out, clumsily rising and lifing my bike, shoe still attached.

“Yeah” I said, avoiding eye contact as I limped red-faced to the curb in one white sock and one shoe.

Turns out a loose screw on my cleat was to blame. Tighten BEFORE you ride, fellow awkward roadies.